Scratching my head

I finished the doctrinal paper for my MDIV oral exam. Well, I still have a week to review and edit, but I have used up my total word count. I guess that means I’m done, right? It does mean that if I want to add anything, I must also delete something. So, I must prioritize my essential thoughts, and only those of greater importance can make the cut. I did have a teacher offer to preview my paper, which was a very generous offer. I took him up on it, and I am eager to hear his feedback.

Some of the problematic theological questions that I am preparing to answer for my oral exam are: 1) On what grounds are people morally responsible and found guilty of sin? 2) What are the implications between Supralapsarian and Sublapsarian Calvinism? 3) In the new birth, does the Holy Spirit implant a “spirit” or renew capacities of the image of God damaged in the Fall? What is your personal eschatology?

These are the topics that swirl around in my mind as I grasp for understanding. Within the realm of orthodoxy, there are several answers. Choosing one isn’t a problem. Defending why you didn’t choose the others is the daunting task. Understanding one position would be difficult enough, but I feel the need to understand them all.

The good thing is that it is not a fruitless exercise. I feel like I’m preparing and re-learning at the speed of light. God is speaking in my rigor and He is changing my mind about the non-essentials I’ve held sacred in the past. My brain feels tired, and I need to remember to spend time in prayer. My strivings for understanding require the illumination of the Holy Spirit.