Faithfulness

I begin a class tomorrow called, “The Personal Life of the Christian Leader.” My first assignment is to journal daily for thirty days. The content of my journal is what the Holy Spirit is revealing and teaching me that day. It sounds like a blog to me. I just have to find a way to get my teacher, Tim Koller, to accept this assignment in a blog format.

Today, I resonated with Chapter 3 of “Holy Wild,” a book by Mark Buchanan. I am reading this book for a different class. Mark pointed out that when we call a car “faithful,” we mean that its greatest feature is that it is functional, lacking other more exciting features. I imagine that this usage is a reflection of how poorly our culture esteems the word and the quality that it describes. Perhaps, I resonated with Mark’s description because my personality fights against things that feel routine. For me, routine quickly becomes bland and boring. And somehow the words “routine” and “faithful” can occupy the same space in my brain. So, it seems my feelings about faithfulness are more like our culture than how the Bible describes our God.

The Old Testament describes God’s faithfulness with the Hebrew word hesed. It literally means covenantal faithfulness but is often translated as steadfast love or lovingkindness. It is a word we are familiar with because of Psalm 136. You are probably familiar with this Psalm because it repeats over and over, “His lovingkindness endures forever.” When God makes a covenant with Abraham in Genesis 15, animals are cut in two, and God walks between the bloody parts. Abraham was probably surprised by God’s action because according to covenantal practices of the time, Abraham was supposed to walk between the animal parts. This was a symbolic act which was supposed to be Abraham’s commitment to be faithful to the covenant or to be cut in half just like the animals. But God takes Abraham’s place, and symbolically says, “I’ll be responsible for your unfaithfulness.” 2 Tim 2:13 claims that God remains faithful even when we are not. That is not boring. In fact, that could be the greatest news that a rebellious sinner like me could ever hear. He has paid the penalty for my sin. And now, He is faithfully patient and unchanging in his promises towards me. So, does God not care about our faithfulness? Oh, He cares. He cares so much that he is willing for our growing faithfulness to be guaranteed by his. He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it (Phil 1:6).

As a Christian, the question that then follows is, “Am I faithful?” Toward my sense of self, the answer is a big, “Yes.” To God, the answer is “Yes,” but there is less confidence in my response. I think my hesitation lies in the conflict that seems to arise from trying to be faithful to two things that are often not on the same page. God is not as interested or committed to my happiness or comfort, as is my sense of self. He desires my sanctification and His glory. See what I mean? God and self want different things. This conflict is the struggle of my faith. Who will I be faithful to today? Me or God.

Today, I am led to ask that question, but even as I write this, I have found the answer. It is found in the middle paragraph. When I was reflecting and writing about God’s faithfulness to me, my heart desired to not only to be faithful to him in return but also to reflect that faithfulness, so that others can know it. Perhaps I spend too much time looking in the wrong places to define concepts that only God can truly define for me. My answer is looking at Him and letting what we see influence who I am. The words of the chorus are true, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace.

Father, thank you for your faithfulness to me. Once again, I need your help. Help me be faithful to you alone - Amen.