Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is the key to faithfulness. As a counselor, I know that self-awareness can be pursued without a theological framework that defines our identity in Christ. However, when we are mindful of what the Bible says and with the Holy Spirit’s help, self-awareness can help us be more faithful to our Father and faithful to the people around us.
I believe that working to complete my MDIV has given me many tools to develop my preaching, my exegesis of the scriptures, my understanding of the original languages, my apologetics, and my theology. My time at seminary has also given me many tools for self-awareness. Tools that help me see myself as I actually am and what I can be because of the redemptive power of the Gospel. Sin has been revealed, hope has been rekindled, and desire has emerged. My Seminary training has been a gift, allowing me to step out of ministry and evaluate my character drift and realign myself with the Holy Spirit’s sanctifying work in me. We all need to be on the same page as the Spirit. However, it’s easy to get off course and not even know it, especially when you are busy with ministry. I believe self-awareness is what David prays for when he says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”( Ps. 139:23-24).
The questions that I’m wrestling with today are, “Where does self-awareness happen in the church?” “Is it an activity done in community?” Or, “do we just assume it happens individually?” I believe it only happens in a transparent community, and we are wrong to assume it’s just happening privately in each individual. I can be adamant about this because self-deception blinds all of us to our own flaws. We need each other to help because we are all stifled in our growth. Opening our lives to the voices of others is guaranteed to get uncomfortable. It feels really dangerous.
What would it look like for the church to grow in faithfulness through a commitment to transparent community and self-awareness? Would we have to create a new environment/gathering to facilitate this? How would it be communicated? How could this value spread in a church community? What could Christ do in a church that embodies a pursuit of faithfulness through self-awareness?
I have lots of questions. Is a church like this actually possible in our closed and defensive culture? Does it already exist? Maybe it’s just a dream.